


Where do we go from here?

by sophmundane



Series: Malec Drabbles [4]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Bane Chronicles - Sarah Rees Brennan & Cassandra Clare & Maureen Johnson, The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, malec - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguing, Domestic Fluff, Domestic Violence, Gen, Heavy Angst, Holidays, Homelessness, M/M, Malec, New Year's Eve, Sad with a Happy Ending, Snowball Fight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-09-12 11:48:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9070381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sophmundane/pseuds/sophmundane
Summary: Alec soon realised that he was looking at the definition of perfection. Magnus, in the snow - sat by a (frozen) lake. His hair dishevelled and damp, his jumper covered in speckles of snow, his hands stained with every shade of paint imaginable.Alec sat up, quicker than he'd ever moved before. Placing his lips onto Magnus's, his hands immediately resting on either side of Magnus's face. There was something so needy about the kiss, Magnus noticed. He noticed how Alec had never moved that quick before to kiss him. In fact, this was the first time he'd ever initiated a kiss. AU. Photographer Alec Lightwood and Artist Magnus Bane are the world's cutest couple - at least behind closed doors anyway. Struggling to come to terms with his sexuality, can a New Year's trip to Ontario help Alec make his relationship with Magnus work outside of their own four walls?





	

**Author's Note:**

> So here goes, my last piece of writing for 2016! I beta my own work, so apologies for any mistakes. A big, big thank you to dazed_daddario who writes my summaries!
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: This story contains descriptions of violence.

**"You know we can't keep doing this,"** Alec said firmly, pushing at Magnus's chest.

  
"Not again. _Not again,_ " Magnus thought.

  
He thought about how many times Alec had said this to him before, wondering when he'd finally get used to being disappointed by Alec's words. But the disappointment never came, only the feeling of his stomach dropping.

  
Alec would always come running back to Magnus, every time without fail. But Magnus couldn't help but feel that every time he said it was over, that it was the truth. One day, Alec wouldn't come running back to Magnus. And to Magnus, that was the worst thing in the world.

  
Magnus sighed, nodding - agreeing with Alec. Even though he didn't agree with Alec in any way. His eyes were shut firmly, praying with every fibre of his being that this was just a dream, Alec's words were a lie and this was all in his head. But when Magnus opened his eyes, he saw Alec - picking up his coat, keys and wallet from the arm of the sofa before making his way towards the door of Magnus's loft apartment.

As Alec left, he took Magnus's heart with him.

  
Magnus wasn't the kind of guy to ever fall in love, he didn't believe in love. Not after seeing the way his parents lived through life. Magnus wasn't born out of love, his parents didn't even want him. He then had to live a life filled with violence and hatred up until he was 10 years old when his Mother escaped and left Magnus to take full blow of the violence. He ran away from home aged 16 and never went back. He lived on the streets for a while, occupying a stray cat who he later called Chairman Meow.

  
Magnus saved the pennies people threw at him over the course of a few months - not to buy food or clothes. But to buy paper and pencils. Magnus had always had an artistic streak from a young child, he'd spend hours drawing as a child, hoping to make his Mother proud or his Father smile. But in reality, his drawings would get ripped up and burnt. His Father called his drawings trash, scolding him for drawing. Magnus never believed he was a good drawer, until he met Luke on the streets of New York.

  
Luke had always had an eye for talent, especially when his stepdaughter Clary started to draw before she could talk. Jocelyn, her Mother and Luke's fiancée was also an artist, having her own gallery below their apartment in Brooklyn. Luke was known for bringing in waif and stray's, but little did Luke, Jocelyn and Clary know that Magnus's art would _triple_ their usual profits.

  
After sleeping on their couch for 5 years, it was falling apart. As Magnus had made quite a fortune from his artwork over the last 5 years, Jocelyn and Luke decided to convert the loft in their apartment to a space that Magnus could call his own as a thank you. He could draw, paint, sleep, eat and relax in his own space.

And Luke surprised Jocelyn with a new couch.

  
After 10 years, now aged 31 - from being on the streets to being a highly sought after artist, Magnus finally bought his own place. He'd saved up an insane amount of money and bought a spacious apartment in the heart of New York, just around the corner from where he spent his first night on the streets.

    
Alec wasn't like his siblings in any way. Isabelle was intelligent, athletic, beautiful. Max was a brain box, a genius. His parents, Maryse and Robert were successful business people, owning more than 5 gyms, hotels, spas and country clubs all over New York. His parents, hoping their eldest son would follow in their footsteps - wasn't the slightest bit interested. Alec had never been academic, he hated sports and he wasn't clever like his siblings.

  
When Alec's grandparents died, they left their house in New York to the 3 Lightwood children. Isabelle and Max weren't a bit interested in it, as they planned to make their own money from careers in Sports and Accounting. And plus, the house was a mess. But Alec was besotted and always had been with his Grandparents house.

  
So he moved into the house.

It was like stepping into the 1950's, but Alec loved it. Their kitchen looked like an American diner, with a checkerboard floor, bright red walls and a chrome booth for a dining table. Apart from the whacky wallpaper, crazy carpets and badly designed curtains, much of the furniture from the 50's was back in fashion. So Alec gutted the house from top to bottom, placing all the furniture he wanted to keep in the basement. Whilst he was moving his Grandparents bed, he found a suitcase. Little did he know what he found inside would change his life.

  
Inside the suitcase was filled with photographer's equipment. Tripods, camera's, film, slides, polaroid paper. A photographer's dream. Alec had no idea that his Grandfather was into photography, he never mentioned it to anyone. Alec wasn't really going anywhere career wise, he had a job in a greasy spoon cafe down a dirty alley way in Manhattan to tide him over, but he couldn't spend the rest of his life working in a dirty cafe. So Alec begged his parents for a job at the Lightwood Country Club.

  
Eventually, they gave in to his begging and gave him a job as a waiter. He stopped moping about, he started working out and working hard to make money. His love for photography blossomed and soon he begun making a small fortune from his photography and a blog he runs. Alec then realised he was living alone in a huge house in New York, so he decided to rent out the 2 spare bedrooms to get some extra cash.

  
Alec often pondered if only once you took in lodgers you could kick them out a month into the contract if you didn't like them, because that's exactly how Alec felt about Simon and Lydia. Simon was a slob, he never cleaned up after himself, he always ate food that wasn't his, he plays the most absurd loud indie music almost 24/7 and it was driving Alec mad. Lydia wasn't as bad as Simon, but the worst part about it was she fancied the pants off of Alec.

  
Alec wouldn't of minded, but he is _gay_.

  
No one knew he was gay, though. Not even his sister. They may have many differences but they were the best of friends and they know everything about each other. Apart from this. Alec was absolutely, completely in denial about his sexuality. That was until he started bumping into Magnus at his family's gym a couple of times a week. On Tuesday's he'd always be in the gym and on Thursday's he'd be in the pool.

  
One late Thursday night, all the longing stares, the brushing of arms, the small talk they'd shared in the changing rooms came to blows. Alec had to admit, he wanted to try it - he wanted to try it just once, to make sure he was gay. After all, he'd been so confused why he was never interested in girls from being young. That night in the swimming pool showers, alone with Magnus had confirmed it for Alec. _He liked guys_. But he wanted to keep it to himself for as long as possible, knowing his parents and pretty much everyone in his family Country Club was homophobic.

  
The next morning, Alec was shocked to see Magnus and his Father, Robert having breakfast together. Magnus was wearing a suit as Alec delivered their food, taking a peek at what was attached to the clip board in front of his Dad. It was Magnus's CV and a job application to become the club's Graphic Designer. Alec gulped, locking eyes with Magnus who just smirked, looking Alec up and down, the thoughts of the previous night creeping up on both of them.

  
6 months later, him and Magnus were still regularly meeting up when they needed each other. When Alec needed a fix. When Magnus needed some comfort. Sometimes at either of their places, sometimes they even risked it at work. Somehow in those 6 months, Magnus had completely and utterly fallen head over heels for Alec, who was 10 years younger than him aged 21. Age was just a number to Magnus, but Alec added that and the fact they worked at the same place to the list of reasons why he could never tell his parents about him and Magnus.

 

 *

 

 "Your mom wants us to go to that log cabin she owns in Ontario, take some shots that I can turn into paintings and stuff for the club, hotel, gym, spa.." Magnus trailed off, sipping the coffee Alec handed to him.

  
"The phrases "mom", "wants" and "us" in the same sentence gives me nightmares," Alec laughed, chucking a teaspoon into the sink, making a loud clattering sound that made Magnus jump.

 

"She wants us to go this weekend." Magnus stated, slurping his coffee noisily. Alec's brows knitted together, frowning.

  
"This weekend? But this weekend is New Years?" The crinkles by Alec's eyes were visible and Magnus, of course found it cute.

  
Magnus nodded. "I know. I think she wants us to go to catch the snow before it starts warming up," Magnus said softly, sighing - knowing Alec was probably going to say no.  
"Are you sure she doesn't know about us?" Alec asked and Magnus shook his head furiously, protesting.

  
"Of course not. How could she? It was your wish to keep this, _thing,_ you know.. Whatever we have together - quiet." Magnus's words calmed Alec, who's heart was beating erratically at the thought of his mom knowing he was gay.

  
"What if someone saw us? What if she saw us? _Or Dad..._ " Alec began to panic, his voice shaking. Magnus immediately pressed a finger to his lips as soon as he started rambling, silence filling the room up.

  
" _Alexander_ ," Magnus begun as Alec stopped talking, he even stopped breathing. "Shut up. There's nothing to tell anyway. You told me last night this was over." Magnus said and Alec sighed, realising his mistake.

  
"I made a mistake, I said something I shouldn't of. You know I didn't mean it, don't you?" Alec said, moving Magnus's finger from his lips. "Why are you here in my kitchen if things are over?"

  
 Magnus couldn't imagine anything more perfect than being alone with Alec. It didn't matter what they were doing, whether it was singing along to old love songs in the car, reading books in silence or cooking. Alec was Magnus's favourite person for company.

  
"Look at the snow," Alec spoke softly, almost a whisper as he pulled up in front of the log cabin, securing the car with the handbrake. It must've been snowing for weeks in Ontario, because the snow was piled at least a quarter way up the door. The snow had been untouched, which reminded Magnus of when he first met Alec.

  
"Think we might need a few shovels to get through the door," Magnus chuckled, grabbing his body warmer from the backseat as he rubbed his hands together, his perfectly paint stained fingers poking out of the fingerless gloves.

  
"I'll go round the back, I'm sure there's a shed with some tools in," Alec shouted to Magnus who was struggling to stay upright as he trudged through the knee deep snow.  
Alec hummed, trying to find the key which fitted the shed padlock. Magnus admired him, not realising he was being watched - which was Magnus's favourite way to watch Alec. Unknown. Innocent. But he decided this was the perfect way to start a snowball fight.

  
Bunching handfuls of snow into a rounded shape using the palms of his hands, Magnus picked up the snowball and threw it as hard as he could, using all his strength. He couldn't help but laugh loudly when the snowball just happened to hit Alec on the bum, which sent Alec flying to the ground. Alec, turned around, clearly unimpressed but the anger in his eyes soon turned mischievous.

  
Typical of Alec, he'd forgotten his gloves - so using the sleeves of his baggy green jumper to bunch up some snow, Magnus was already running away from Alec, cackling. Alec tried to catch up with him but failed, the snow beneath his feet which was up to his knees stopping him in his tracks. When Alec had finally got out of the thick snow, Magnus was already on his way down a path towards a lake. A determined look spread across Alec as he tried to catch Magnus.

  
It may have been childish, but the blood pumping through Magnus's veins kept him warm in this freezing weather. By the time Alec had got anywhere near the lake, Magnus had made at least 20 snowballs. He knew one thing and that was that he was gonna win this fight.

  
"I hope you're not planning on throwing them at me or you're going in the lake," Alec shouted breathlessly, pointing at the rounded shapes of snow just behind Magnus. Magnus did nothing but smirked, which drove Alec crazy.

  
Magnus turned around to get some snowballs when Alec hit him square in the back of the head with one, before another one hitting him in the ankle, launching him into the pile of snowballs, turning them to mush. Magnus groaned, knowing Alec would catch him off guard at some point. Magnus threw a snowball in the general direction of Alec, but somehow happened to be heading for his face. He dodged it, but lost his balance. Alec tripped over a log, heading straight for the lake head first.

 

  
Only to realise it had _completely_ frozen over.

  
"What the-" Alec stuttered, his hands flat to the surface of the iced over water.

  
"What a _shame,_ " Magnus said sarcastically. "I was hoping to save you from drowning and give you CPR."

  
Usually a comment like that would make Magnus _puke_. But because it was about Alec, somehow being cheesy made Magnus smiled. Alec laughed hard at Magnus's comment, making him blush.

  
"Suddenly I'm not breathing!" Alec returned Magnus's sarcastic comment, pretending to faint. He lay on the icy surface for a minute, laughing through breaths before Magnus snatched Alec back to the ground by his ankles, with a quick swipe of his wrists. Of course, the last thing Magnus wanted was Alec to fall through the ice and into the freezing cold lake. It was too risky to leave him lying there, unknown to how thick the ice was.

 

They stared at each other for a few moments, before Magnus laced his fingers through Alec's dampened hair.

  
"You're not gonna thank me for saving your life?" Magnus asked with a smirk and Alec blushed, feeling vulnerable all of a sudden. "I can think of a few ways you can thank me."

"Name it."

"Well, you can start by giving me a kiss." The corners of Magnus's lips turned upwards as Alec's stomach dropped, feeling nervous. Alec soon realised that he was looking at the definition of perfection.

Magnus, in the snow - sat by a (frozen) lake. His hair dishevelled and damp, his jumper covered in speckles of snow, his hands stained with every shade of paint imaginable.  
Alec sat up, quicker than he'd ever moved before. Placing his lips onto Magnus's, his hands immediately resting on either side of Magnus's face. There was something so needy about the kiss, Magnus noticed. He noticed how Alec had never moved that quick before to kiss him. In fact, this was the first time he'd _ever_  initiated a kiss. Magnus relished in this feeling, knowing it might never happen again. This could all be over tomorrow. Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec's waist tight, pulling him close. Alec soon pulled away, looking sheepish, his lips swollen.

  
"Did you just kiss me? _In public?_ " Magnus asked and Alec looked confused.

  
"I guess I did. Although I'd hardly call a deserted log cabin by the lake _"public"_ , Magnus." Alec chuckled but Magnus still smiled about it.

 

*

 

   
It was barely an hour later, Magnus and Alec had both showered, changed into a clean set of clothes, fed themselves and now Alec had fallen asleep on the sofa. Magnus watched him as he sipped a mug of hot chocolate as Alec's chest rose and dipped. He snored lightly, stirring occasionally and Magnus couldn't help but smile at him. Magnus always had an eye for a great painting and he wasn't sure what to paint next. Alec in the surroundings of this beautiful log cabin or the stunning view outside of the kitchen window overlooking the mountain, forest and lake.

  
Deciding to stop standing around, staring at Alec whilst he snoozed - Magnus decided to wash up all the dishes whilst soaking up the incredible view. It had begun snowing again, the sky seeming as if it was filled with snow. Magnus soon fell into his own world, humming along to a made up tune as he relished in the feeling of the warm, almost hot soapy water in the sink. His feet were still freezing cold from the snow, even with 2 pairs of thermal socks and some slippers on. The log cabin was finally starting to warm up, the fire was roaring and crackling in the middle of the lounge and Magnus breathed in deeply, smelling nothing but cinnamon and pine. For once in his life, Magnus felt content. _Happy. Relaxed. Carefree._ He smiled to himself, wishing how he could freeze time and stay like this forever. But since that wasn't possible, he savoured the feeling.

  
Magnus snapped out of his daydream as he felt a pair of strong arms wrap around his waist. He knew it was Alec, obviously - and not some axe murderer. But it still gave him a little fright, jolting him towards he sink a little as Alec rested his cheek on Magnus's shoulder blade.

  
"I thought you were sleeping," Magnus asked the sleepy man stood behind him, who was now pressed right up against his body. Alec yawned, taking in a deep breath. Magnus awaited his reply but it never came. They stood together in silence, almost like they were attached as Magnus finished washing up.

 

" _You know,_ " Magnus begun, sighing contently but with a touch of sadness. "I wish we could be like this back home."

  
Magnus immediately felt the mood between him and Alec change. Alec sucked in a sharp breath, untangling his arms from Magnus's waist. Magnus turned around, confused, his brows knitting together as he frowned, feeling sad at the loss of contact between him and Alec.

  
"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" Alec asked, suddenly defensive, crossing his arms across his chest like he was protecting himself. Magnus continued to look confused by Alec's words, deep down he knew the happiness would only last so long.

  
"I just meant that I wish we could do stuff like this all the time. Spend time together like this, doing normal things that, you know, couples do." Magnus blurted out, trying to explain but it didn't come out right. He immediately regretted his words as he saw the disgusted look on Alec's face.

  
" _Couples_?" Alec laughed, but it wasn't a normal laugh. It was a laugh which made Magnus stomach drop and his heart pound with terror. "We aren't a couple."

  
"Yeah, alright. Maybe I used the wrong word but I just-" Magnus tried to explain but Alec cut him off.

  
"What you're trying to say is that you wish I wasn't in the closet. Right?" Alec put Magnus in an impossible situation and Magnus was speechless.

  
"Of course, it would be easier if you weren't. But it doesn't matter, just because you're in the closet doesn't make me feel any differently about you." Magnus said softly, trying to calm Alec a little but it wasn't working.

  
"Well, I'm sorry I'm not perfect for you. I'm sorry that me being in the closet is such a big deal to you. I'm sorry we can't be normal." Alec cursed. "Fuck this."

  
"What are you talking about? I just said I-" Magnus started again but was struck off by Alec's much louder, stronger, angrier voice.

  
"You know what? Why are we even arguing about this? Why don't you just go home to your fancy apartment and your fancy cars?" Alec spat, Magnus suddenly feeling like his heart couldn't bare to beat anymore. Magnus didn't say anything, he couldn't say anything. The words he wanted to say were swirling around in his brain but it was jumbled, incoherent. He sat in silence and the only thing Magnus could hear was Alec's erratic breathing. Magnus thought about how Alec didn't really know him at all. He didn't know about the struggles he had growing up in a broken, violent home. He didn't know about how Magnus ran away from home after his Mother left him to be battered by his Father daily. He didn't know about how he slept on the streets of New York for months, freezing cold, lonely, poor. Alec didn't know Magnus at all, yet Magnus loved Alec with every fibre of his being.

  
"I worked damn hard to get where I am today. You think I was brought up in some rich family with a nice house and fancy cars? Just like you? Well I wasn't," Magnus begun and he was barely near finished. As much as he adored Alec with all his heart, he'd always been the quiet one. Everything had been on Alec's terms. But not today. It was Magnus's turn to have his voice heard.

  
"I was battered daily by my dad, I watched my dad almost kill my mom more than one occasion. I was 10 when my mom left me and I had 6 years of relentless bullying, torturing, violence. I ran away at 16 and never went back. I lived on the streets of New York. So don't you dare mock me when you talk about my fancy apartment or cars. I earned them," Magnus stated and Alec looked like he'd seen a ghost, his face pale and his expression emotionless.

  
"Magnus, I-"

  
"Save it, I don't want your apologies. When I met you, when I realised after a few times of us hooking up - I thought maybe, just maybe.." Magnus's voice broke, unable to get the words out. "Oh what the hell, it doesn't matter."

  
Magnus looked up at Alec, who's eyes were filling with tears. Magnus swallowed as he looked away, feeling guilty. He knew he shouldn't but he still did. It's not like Alec knew about his past. Alec gritted his teeth before moving faster than lightening, stomping towards the dining room table where his camera was sat. He grabbed it, throwing it around his neck by the strap and trudged towards the door, completely ignoring Magnus.

  
"Alec, where are you going?!" Magnus almost cried, raising his voice to a shout. Alec opened the door wide.

  
"Out." Alec replied bluntly before slamming the door. Magnus was beyond shocked at his actions.

  
"But I love you," Magnus whispered, tears pricking at his eyes.  
   
*  
   
Alec had _royally_ fucked up. Big time. He walked and walked and walked, but he had no idea where he was going. He wasn't even looking where he was going. Alec felt dizzy, sick, shaky, his breathing shallow. He walked until he could no longer go any further from lack of breath. His heart pounded in his chest as he gasped for breath and sat on the nearest thing he could see which happened to be a giant tree stump. Alec put his head in his hands, grasping at the beanie on his head, wanting to rip his hair out with frustration. He hated himself for the way he acted with Magnus back at the log cabin, he didn't know why he flipped like this sometimes. It just bubbled up inside him, the hatred for himself, for him being gay, for him being unable to come out, for causing all this hurt.

  
When Alec first met Magnus, he expected it to be a one time thing. That was until their meetings became regular, the time they spent with each other became more frequent, more casual, more what (as Magnus said) couples do. Magnus wasn't the only one to catch feelings quickly, because Alec did too. But Alec being in the closet was beginning to ruin things for them and Alec couldn't let that happen to the best person to ever walk into his life.

  
Magnus curled up on the sofa, unsure what to do. Magnus was never the type of person to do nothing, he was very productive - always painting, reading, listening to music, cooking. But he felt emotionless, like his heart had been ripped from his chest. He didn't know how he felt, but everything was numb. He didn't cry anymore, he just curled up with the blanket up to his neck, breathing Alec's scent which was still on the blanket from when he napped before. Magnus soon realised that this dream he'd been living in, this dream of maybe him and Alec getting engaged, eventually married was over. He thought about how maybe one day they'd get their own place, a proper house with a garden on the outskirts of New York. He'd even thought about children, adopting. That's how much he adored Alec, that he was beginning to hope that the future was looking bright. Magnus shut his eyes, unable to keep them open anymore from the stinging pain in his tear ducts from crying before.

  
Alec had always had an eye for photography, snapping away from his phone as soon as the opportunity cropped up. But the love grew from what he'd found in his Grandfather's suitcase under the bed, the fascination of learning how to use the camera's, lenses. Usually, as soon as a good photo op turned up in front of Alec - he'd rush to get his camera to snap away. But not today. Not today when a little Robin turned up and perched itself on top of a blackberry bush.

  
Alec gasped quietly, eyes widening with a smile, he was careful not to scare the little bird which chirped as it cocked it's head to the side, giving Alec a quizzing look.  
"Hey little buddy," Alec spoke softly, almost a whisper. The Robin chirped in response.

  
"You know, I wish I was a bird sometimes," Alec pondered, feeling slightly bizarre that he was sat in the middle of a forest talking to a bird. Alec thought about how he wished he could just fly away without a care in the world. The bird looked at Alec, cocking it's head from side to side as it sung the most beautiful birdsong. It made Alec smile, he felt a little bit more at peace as the bird chirped away to it's heart's content. Alec stuffed his freezing cold hands into his jeans pocket, feeling something rough at the bottom. He pulled the little bag out and held it in his hand. Peanuts.

  
"You hungry, little one?" Alec whispered as he poured the contents of the bag onto his hand. Without any hesitation at all, the bird landed in Alec's hand and started pecking at the nuts. He'd never witnessed anything like this in his life and relished in the little act which would probably never happen again.

  
"You're not scared at all, are you?" Alec admired the Robin, lifting his hand up above his head to get a better look. Usually, when something as extraordinary as this happened, Alec would be the first person with a camera out, but not today. No photograph could savour this memory better than the one imprinted in his brain. Alec thought about how maybe this little bird was a sign. A sign of hope. A sign that everything was going to be alright. Soon enough, the little Robin had scoffed more than it should've and sung a little song for Alec before flying up into one of the trees in the forest. Alec smiled to himself as he dusted the crumbs off his hand.  
 

  
*  
 

  
Alec knocked and knocked at the log cabin door but there was no answer. It had just gone dark as he arrived back and if he thought it was cold before, it was freezing now there was no daylight.

  
" _Magnus,_ " Alec shouted as he knocked on the door again, shivering hard. "We need to talk, let me in."

  
No reply.

  
"Ok," Alec huffed, admitting defeat for now. "I'll just wait here." Alec slouched down, his back up against the door. He let out a breathy sigh, vaguely seeing vapour come from his mouth. He wasn't shivering that hard yet but he soon would be when the night changed. There was nothing more that Magnus wanted than to open that front door fast, grab Alec and hold him tight. But something held Magnus back, something told him to let Alec stew. Let him think about things.

  
Alec didn't know if seconds, minutes or hours had passed. He'd lost count after he nodded off although he had no idea how long he'd been asleep for. The gentle breeze of the wind awoke him, the cold air painfully going up his nose as he took a deep breath in. Alec couldn't believe how much of an ass he'd been, getting so defensive at a harmless comment Magnus had made. Alec didn't know what told him to call his sister, but something did. Almost like an impulse. An instinct.

  
"Izzy? There's something I need to talk to you about. It's really important." Magnus heard Alec talking faintly and he tip toed towards the voice, slouching in doorway - pressing an ear to the wood.

  
Alec held the phone to his ear as it crackled because of lack of signal. "Hey, Izzy. Isabelle! Can you hear me?" Alec heard some sort of muffled sound in reply as he took a deep breath in, everything about his breath was shaky.

  
"Are you listening?" Alec said and Isabelle scowled. "Yes! I'm listening, dumbass. Now tell me what's up before the line goes!"

  
There was a long pause. And Alec hoped that the line had cut already before he opened his mouth.

  
" _Isabelle_ ," Alec started, taking a deep, shaky breath.

  
"I'm gay."

  
Magnus gasped upon hearing those words, Alec's voice breaking as he spoke. He wondered if he was dreaming or not. Did Alec just really come out to his sister? Alec awaited for a reply. A reply he'd been dreading to hear all his life.

  
"And you don't think I haven't known this for years, Alec? I'm your sister. Of course I know you like boys." Isabelle sassed her older brother and Alec scoffed at her words, seemingly confused that she already knew.

 

  
"Does everyone else know?" Alec asked Izzy and she laughed.  
"Of course they know. Now go enjoy your New Year with lover boy. Kisses!" Isabelle made kissy noises through the phone before hanging up. Alec's mouth was left wide open, shocked. He thought to himself about how this wasn't half as bad as he'd expected it to be. Maybe it was all in his head. Maybe, just maybe everything was going to be alright. He couldn't process it right away, but everything suddenly felt good. The biggest weight had been lifted.

  
"Happy New Year to me." Alec exasperated sarcastically as he threw his head back, hitting the door. Before he knew it, he was falling backwards.

  
"Fuck!" Alec cursed, looking upwards to see Magnus upside down, standing there looking sheepish.

 

  
"Sorry," Magnus said quietly. "Didn't realise you were leaning on the door." Magnus grinned and Alec groaned, shutting his eyes with frustration.  
"Are you gonna help me up or are you just going to stand there?" Alec said, the struggle in his voice evident as he tried to get up. He was soon on his feet as Magnus pulled him up using all his strength.

  
"Hi," was all Magnus could manage to string together. Alec smirked.

  
"Hi," Alec repeated Magnus, smiling at him. Magnus noticed a difference in Alec, he looked as though all of his troubles had been solved, all his worries had been taken away. All from a simple phone call to his sister.

  
Alec embraced Magnus, wrapping his arms around his shoulders as Magnus slipped his hands around Alec's waist. Relishing in the warmth, Alec felt at home like this with Magnus. How had it taken him this long to realise?

  
"I'm sorry," Alec whispered, but Magnus shushed him immediately, not wanting to ruin this moment. 

  
The clock above them begun to chime, it took a moment for it to register with them both that it was now a new year.

  
"You know I love you too?" Alec spoke softly and Magnus was taken aback by his words. No one had ever told him that they'd loved him in 31 years of living on this earth. Alec must've heard Magnus say it before he left before. Magnus blushed furiously but felt at ease as he knew the man that meant the absolute world to him felt the exact same.

Not one person told Magnus they loved him.

  
But Alec did.

  
And Magnus didn't reply in words, but he kissed Alec on the mouth, passionately yet somehow gently.

  
"Happy New Year, Alexander." Magnus whisped, resting his head in the crook of Alec's neck as fireworks went off above their heads. Maybe everything was going to be alright after all.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Yay! You made it to the end! Please make sure you're following me on twitter @bookwormalec. Please feel free to leave kudo's and (nice) comments :)


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